INVENTORY

      

        One the hardest things about writing a blog,....especially one that is offering positive advice, is that in order to be real with yourself and everyone else is that you have to practice what you preach. If I am talking about , or promoting; making a better life for you then I have to do the same.

        One simple way to make positive changes in life is by taking your inventory, The dictionary defines taking inventory as simply making a list. Stores take inventory, they go into their backroom and make a count of everything that they have, and they also count everything they have on the shelf. WHAT R U SELLING? IS IT SUM BULLSHIT? Take your INVENTORY....lbvs.LOL.

        The fourth step in AA or NA says make fearless and searching moral inventory. Addicts , alcoholic or people trying to make a big change in their lives should follow this model. Especially people who think that everything is fine and that there is nothing they can't improve on anything in their life (hypocritical bitch!!). A person who thinks that they are perfect  is a worse person than someone who knows they need to better their self and are taking steps to do so, This process can sound overwhelming. But when broken down into smaller more doable steps, it can be very easy.  Try it, take a minute to yourself. Grab a notebook, journal, use an app, notes on your android  phone, send a email to yourself, make a word document on your computer. It really don't matter how u do it as long as your ASS does it, Don't you want to be a more successful, focused more peace full person? These exercises don't exist for absolutely no reason, somebody has been trying them and the shit is working. It works for me.

        Here is how you can get started, but know that there are many ways, and none are wrong as long as it works.  What are your goals? What do you want to accomplish? What are your dreams? Who do you admire or can call on for help? Who will tell you the truth about yourself and your hot mess? What do I want to build on ? What do I want to change? What habits are good in my life and working for me? What habits are fucking me up and holding me back?

         Taking time to work on self is not selfish it is maintenance. Take care of your issues!! Are you feeling unhealthy? need to eat more veggies? Frying food all the time, eating chips and shit too much? Chang your diet n go to the gym. Are you overeat ting , or under eating? Are you depressed? Drinking or Smoking n getting high too much, (Turn UP!!!Turn down $

4 WHAT?!?!?!). I'm saying this because this shit can ruin your life, kill u faster than life intended for you to die, make u suffer, or get your ass locked up? Have you ever seen someone who lived dysfunction ally for so long and they were so used to it that they didn't want to change or don't want to, or didn't want to learn how? Don't be that person Stop wishing life was better. Be like Nike and just do it!!!

        Take care of your health and wellness the only one responsible for your success or failure is you. A wise woman once told me.. Take care of your own problems and shit, because if another mofo see you leaking and points out your problems issues and flaws you wont like it. You will be all up in ya feelings feeling offended, calling people playe rhater n shit when u ain't even a part of the game. Be productive and proactive in ya own life. Because life will pass you by in a minute. I'm trying to catch up now..Working overtime, like a Hebrew slave trying to better myself, and get the life I deserve, me and my kids...PEACE....!!!  Challenge yourself to be the best version of yourself, one step at a time, one day at a time....

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How 2 Move Past Your Past................

• Clean your record, do a background check, dispute or resolve any issues, seal your records when possible (especially juvenile offences).

• repair your credit, dispute discrepancies, anything pat seven years or more should fall off, , make payment arrangements on past due accounts, and keep them! pay your bills on time.

• FORGET!!! And move away from old negative people places,bad habits, party buddies and Exes, For example, you can achieve this by;  stopping or limiting, drug and alcohol use, and yes this means stop smoking so much weed, LOUD, chronic or whatever the hell you want to call it. Definitely give up smoking cigarettes. It is taking years off your life, and taking money out off your pocket and out of your children's mouths. I don't care how much money u have, you can save more by not smoking, or drastically cutting back. Also find yourself a new circle of friends. Ones who are about something! (legal). Lol. Try  spiritual groups, self help websites, even Craig's List. People at your college or job, shit, if you ain't got one... find a college or job! (lol). Forget all your old homies, the "REAL" ones who want to party ALL the time, listen to old 2 PAC records, and are always broke, getting drunk , smoking or smashing somebody new , If they haven't changed in all these years, chances are they will not, or are not ready to, U better drop those zeros and hang with some heroes. If not these fools will bring u down to their level quicker than shit!!!  REAL TALK...

• gravitate towards people and activities that have.....NOTHING-TO DO- WITH THE PAST!!! (choose the complete opposite).

• Apply for opportunities that your past would usually restrict you from and don't quit until you are accepted at several, If you always wanted to be a doctor apply at a medical facility or nursing home at an entry level position, always wanted to be a chef? Take a low cost cooking class at a local community center.

• Be strong and never stop until your mission is accomplished.

Things Me, (and most people) need in order to be happy..................

• Peace, order and a clean area. Clean up, feng shui, organize, wash those dirty clothes, throw away the things that are not needed, it will work wonders for your mind spirit and attitude.

• increase your income... work from home, find a side hustle, (legal pf course), ask for a raise, get training to get a better job, work an extra job part time. anything other than complaining about the things you need, and how high the bills are.

• Physical Fitness, join your local YMCA, (YWCA) or 24 hour fitness joint, take some walks, Invest in a trainer twice a week. put on some music and work out at home,  If you cant do ant of those things cut back or eliminate saturated fats, fried foods, sweets and salty foods. Try going Vegan. The Internet has plenty of resources on healthy, cooking, eating, how to work out.

• Find a friendship, relationship, or lover.... who is truly concerned with your needs, wants, happiness, desires and feelings. Someone who is willing to go above and beyond.

• intellectual stimulation, find people as smart or even smarter than yourself to have interesting, challenging conversations with you. Conversations that don't always agree with your point of view and open your mind to new ways of thinking.

• An Outlet, LET IT OUT!!!  Read it! Write it out! Cry it out! Run Jump! Scream!  Bake,  Cook, Sew,Don't hold in stress and negative emotions. Even try sex! sex, sex, sex,  YASS I SAID SEXXXX, It is not a bad or curse word, It is a beautiful thing between consenting adults. but make sure to protect yourself....

That's all for now,   Read consider, and share this blog,  Your comments are welcome!!!!!!!!!!

STEREOTYPES (black) SINGLE MOTHERS ARE FACING

Hi, This is my fist blog post, I'm not sure how this works, but I'll give it a try according to the responses I get will determine if I keep going, The post will get better over time I'm practicing my skills to write a book. I am very passionate about the subjects I'm writing about. And these are my opinions, my truth.

 

"Single mom stereotypes, (especially if you have three or more children, and of your are Black), ".

 

 "SHE'S A HOE" -

 Not everyone who is a single mother is a hoe, please start labeling some of these mutha fuckin men running around making babies with multiple women, and not taking care of them. I had sex, unprotected sex, with a man. But I participate in one relationship at a time and try to make that work, when that relationship is finished then I will proceed to the next one. I don't have any STD's or spend my time sleeping around. I do like to have sex and that is my prerogative as a woman!!!

 

"SHE'S HAVING BABIES TO REMAIN ON ASSISTANCE OR FOR CHILD SUPPORT"-

 

First and foremost... any government assistance is not sufficient enough for someone to raise a family, especially a large one. In most cases; unless a man makes alot of money or is a basketball player or a rapper I can guarantee that most women are not gold digging by having babies to receive child support. I know women who receive twenty dollars a month for a child and I also know some who receive less than that or nothing for some children.  AND I AM ONE OF THEM. What I will say is that there are some ratchets, (men and women included), who will scam misuse the system, may be crooks, drug addicts or alcoholics, people also looking for a quick come up or more. Someone also may have nothing and is desperate as well . I know what the fuck I'm talking about because I have been in all thees categories at one time or another. Additionally, lots of single mothers, BLACK ones, on this country work to support their kids. Some work multiple jobs, own small businesses and hustle to make money to support them and theirs. Women also go back to school to get better employment and business opportunities to better their families and self.. OH kayy?!



"SHE CANT KEEP A MAN"-

 

In my situation most of them were not worth keeping or tying to at least. Obviously these women don't have a problem attracting men, or they wouldn't be getting pregnant, duh!!! Oh, and I didn't have to do a damn thing for a deadbeat father (or mother ) to abandon their child!! If a mutha fucka doesn't want to stick around and take care of their children they wont. Simple as that. And women need to watch what they say about other women. Some of these single mothers, (myself included) , are being looked at and hollered at by men most who are in relationships and have women at home.

 

 

"SHE WILL TRY TO SLEEP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND"- 

 

Just because I am a single mother does not make me desperate. I don't want to be dealing with anybody's "MAN"/problem.  If I want a man I can go get one with no problem, IF ANYTHING MARRIED MEN and men in relationships; need to stop trying to sleep with single mothers. I am OK with being single right now because the last man I had WAS FUCCCKKED UP!!!And treated me badly. I am not jealous of you because you have a relationship.

 

"SHE MUST BE STUPID,WHY DID SHE HAVE ALL THOSE KIDS?"-

 

I had all my kids because I had sex and I decided to have my kids because that's WHAT THE FUCK I WANTED TO do!!!Things aren't perfect, I love my kids, and we struggle. But this is my life and they are my children. Most single mothers raise their kids successfully regardless if their fathers are involved or not. I've been to college, I can have a intellectual conversation, use critical thinking skills, read write and some mo shit! We are not stupid for being single mothers, the ignorant person who is the dummy judging and criticizing a situation they have never been in is.

 

THATS ALL FOR NOW.

 

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